Kalinago English: facebook

Am I the only person out there in social-media-land who really, really does not want to be friended by companies on Facebook?

I get random invitations, quite frequently, popping up with the accompanying "34 mutual friends" peer-pressure type inspired messages.

So, what - how does the strategy go, exactly... did they comb through their profiles, saw me flash up in their friends' friends lists and thought to themselves: oh hey, she's a blogger!

If I friend her then she can promote my business for me because she just loves writing about education so she's bound to notice our wonderful amazing products and become just absolutely passionate about our company, and, and... and with a relative glee, clicked on that add as a friend button - with no need for any type of accompanying message.

But who are they:

is it a Jennifer, Janey or Jeremy behind their logo?

I presume that I won't suddenly be having some kind of level access to their own photo albums, movie genre preferences or their deep and darkest private thoughts. They'll have individual private profiles for that sort of stuff or are they hoping to share great TED videos with me?

Going to be sending me the latest rap songs, which they know I'll be loving?

Doubt it.

The upside:

I probably won't have to scroll through their Mafia War, Farmville or Jewel-thingie transactions.

The downside:

They'll get to see me having a whinge or a moan about whatever is going on in my life that isn't all roses on whatever day that it isn't all roses. They'll see the music I like and if a friend (you know, a real friend) or a family member (you know, a real person who is connected to me via flesh and blood) is going through something and I comment on their lives' passing by then they'll see my thoughts in whatever comment it is that I want to leave behind. In whatever way I openly communicate within my intimate circle they'll see...

OOOOOOOOh. Nooooooo.....

This gives me the hiiii biii jiiiiibies and I don't doubt that would give my friends and families the hiiii biiii jiiiibies too if I were to allow this sort of access to these edu-marketers. Eee-yuck.

Now, if the desire for the connect is not because I'm an edublogger, is it simply that I am just some random teacher especially selected to receive their spam..? I mean why not simply invite me to an official group page 'cause Facebook is about

a) friends

b) family

c) professional colleagues who I've allowed into my life and thoughts and intimate circle in order that we may become friends: real friends.

It is not random.

Why are these companies opting for the "friend" route - why the let's have access to everything you think route? Why haven't they opted for a page or a group? I join Groups. I don't mind groups, check on them too, sometimes, when I have time.

Please don't tell me that these educational companies don't or won't spam us via Facebook. Let's face it, usually, as a general rule, on the whole, they have done absolutely no research into web2.0 best practices, (they have a Ph.D in Marketing from 1972 so they don't need to read up on what the self-prescribed gurus have declared best practices) and aren't interested in how social-networking works at all... they've just seen the numbers amassing and gotten wind of that ephemeral concept with its esoteric acronym... and with tongues a-salivating and dollar-signs a-blinking have felt a temptation way too yummy to resist and have come on in a-braying as they enter.

You think I'm just ranting?

In the last two weeks, one of my PLN decided to tag me in a painting, not of me, but basically, essentially this piece of her art would now show up as my face when someone decides to google image search me. I tried to explain this to the artist as I felt that it was not actually an intended offense but she simply couldn't see the problem because, basically, she is in love with her art and has absolutely no problem with my name lending her some kudos.

I'm not stupid, she wanted my friends list to see her art.

I have a problem with that.

I think it is dishonest and blatant marketing within my private space.

I untagged myself.

One of my PLN befriended one of my real friends. My real friend since I was 14, wrote to check if this person was an okay person to become friends with... so I told her that yes, I thought so but honestly, it does make me feel a little weird, silly and nervous. I'm crossing my fingers that it was actually okay, that the interest is genuine and that they can become real friends too.

One very dear person in my PLN wrote a blog article - a very good blog article - but she tagged me in it and wrote as a header that read This Article is about You. Now it wasn't about me. It was about her and about her development of her PLN which is great, but basically, by doing this, tagging me in this way drove my curious real friends and my wanting-to-know-what's-going-on-in-my-life-real-family to her blog page to find out just what had been said about the Karenne they love.

These people are not potential members of her PLN.

These people aren't my

Personal or Passionately Loving

or

my Professional Learning Network.

These people are my Friends and Family.

Not cool.

Seriously.

I untagged myself.

So what's next: Mr company-who-wants-to-be-my-friend? What will you be tagging me in?

Sigh, I guess, I suppose instead of ranting and whingeing about all this, with you on my blog page, I could of course, just click on the ignore button whenever I receive these requests. Actually I do do this, but after seeing the 34-mutual-friends on the last one, I just really had to put it out there and ask:

Why would anyone let a random company

have access to one's private

photos and thoughts?

To The Wall?

Doesn't anyone else feel like this is a total invasion of privacy?

Update 31 May 2010
hat tip to Petra Pointer for sharing this with me on Facebook

Useful related links

Finding this blog on Facebook:
via Facebook, Networked Blogs
to receive regular updates on what I've been posting on this blog, go Kalinago Group
If you want to be my friend on Facebook, it is okay, just do a search on my name and write me a personal message saying who you are, don't just click on the add as a friend button and for blessed sake, respect my world, my life... :)

Best,
Karenne
imagecredit: I want privacy by bejealousofme, flickr

(There's a poll going on the Lexiophiles site to determine a list of the best language blogs, see my post about that here so if you haven't yet voted and you don't this is really totally tacky of me to ask, do please click and visit the site to let them know :-) thanks muchly).

Facebook =

a) close friends
b) family and family of family
c) teachers I know
d) teachers I don't know
e) people I went to school with
f) people I've met along my travels
g) students
h) people who began as tweeters but are now my friends

See a pattern?

My inner circle.

People I respect.

Seriously, so here it is. My Saturday Rant.

"Bob," "Angie" and "John" want to connect with me on Facebook using images they downloaded from Microsoft ClipArt. They look like:

jungle animals
inanimate objects
sunset landscapes

Or, scandal of scandal, they came online as their

(don't gasp out loud if you're in a public place):

their company logo

LinkedIn is like a CV on the internet, it contains the details of one's professional life.

Twitter is where one's PPLN resides: the personal and professional converge creating an awesome learning network.

Ning is the deepener of all those experiences.

But Facebook?

Facebook is where you are you.

And, for the most part, everyone in this new country understands this... the people I'm connected with there, are themselves. Their picture is of them, circa today, smiling or frowning or laughing.

Yes... there are a few exceptions: one of the teachers who used to work for me has a picture of her toes. One friend is currently sporting her newly born child (why do mothers do this?), another has up her wedding picture and she does look awfully pretty in it.

The ex-husband? He is dark-shaded, looking like he's Ecuador's answer to Al Pacino.

Recently an older family member got cold feet and took down all of her pictures returning to the Facebook silhouette. My sister's the surf she was riding last summer and a favorite professional colleague is a tea pot...

Yes, a tea pot.

My inner circle can wear and do whatever they like.

In the teaching field, one of my 'connections' is a logo on Twitter, however, knowing how I feel about logos in general decided to reach out and invite me into her life on FB.

When I got the invite, I didn't jet off to go check out all her photos (I tend not to when you're not someone I "know") however novelty did make me go take a look at her main wall. There I found the pic of her and her husband: you know what, they look like really "good folk" - it was nice to have the connect so now I have warm and fuzzy feelings about her, whether or not her bosses want her to be on Twitter in drag.

In fact, I have really warm feelings about her company simply because she's employed there.

A handful of lovely teachers and other edu-bloggers have also chosen to let me in and I've let them into mine.

It's nice knowing there are others just like me out there, interested in the same stuff, challenged by the same stuff... so if opening my world means they see my "private" sphere I don't mind: we come together as equals, from around the globe, are subject to the same revelations, frustrations, thoughts and status updates - our private and public lives meshed.

How do you feel about the anonymous in web 2.0?
Do you worry about your privacy?
What sort of preventive measures do you use?
Do you keep certain sites/profiles just for certain people?

But back to Bob, Angie, John and random Joe who all think it's cool to click on that "add as a friend" button while sporting some miscellaneous avatar (so they can keep, well, er, like you know their life private while they troll around)...

I've got just one thing to say:

Face on

or

Face off.

Best,
Karenne

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